Gabby Windey is hoping to change her mindset when it comes to consuming alcohol.

During the Thursday, March 13 episode of her Long Winded podcast, the former Bachelorette spoke to her Traitors season 3 castmate Carolyn Wiger about her hopes for sobriety after she started drinking at 13.

The 34-year-old said she’s “so interested in sobriety” because “I want to stop drinking.”

“I’m so depressed that it, like, it will make me depressed,” she added. “Not even the day after but like, a week … and you won’t even notice it.”

Windey added that she’s worried about not being fun or not having a great personality without alcohol. She said she’s even a little jealous of others who are able to go out and enjoy themselves without drinking.

“If we’re going to go out for a drink and have fun, I’m afraid that other people are already thinking that I can’t have fun, so then I think about it like that,” she said. “I take everything on, internalize it, personalize it, project it, whatever the f— you want to call it.”

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“If everyone’s sober, then it’s like, ‘Whatever,’ but it kind of depends. I think, obviously, I need to change my mindset.”

Windey said she didn’t drink ahead of filming her podcast and she was surprised how good she felt emotionally without drinking, amplifying her desire to quit for the sake of her mental health.

“Normally I’ll go out and at least have one or two drinks, but I didn’t because I knew I had to get better for this [podcast],” she explained. “I was like, ‘Why am I so happy? Why am I grateful for my life for once? What has been the big change?’ Because it’s not like I’ve been binge-drinking every night, it’s not. It’s just the depressant lasts a while for me because there’s already some f—– up s— in there. I don’t have enough dopamine.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, please contact the SAMHSA helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.